'The Kissing Booth 2' Is Obviously Bad, But We Need to Talk About It

How this series inspired our newsletter, Elle's manic alternate reality, and why Ryan Murphy should've directed the films.

Within the first two weeks of quarantine, long before the fruition of this very newsletter, we watched The Kissing Booth on Netflix Party. It was a transformative, life-altering experience. As we chatted while watching, we realized something brilliant: instead of complaining about absurd characters and completely unrealistic plot points, we could simply just watch a bad movie and laugh about it. With this newsletter, we’ve broadened our horizons: all rom-coms deserve this commentary. All rom-coms are not bad, but they do deserve to be talked about.

What better way to kick this thing off than by talking about The Kissing Booth 2? We’ve compiled all of our thoughts, our hot takes, our emotional reactions, in which you may indulge.

If you haven’t watched The Kissing Booth, here’s a quick run-down: spunky high schooler Elle Evans (Joey King) and her trusty sidekick Lee Flynn (Joel Courtney) have a set of “friendship rules.” The first, of course, is to not date any siblings. Right. Normal behavior. Too bad Lee’s brother Noah (Jacob Elordi) kisses her in the kissing booth (sources are still out on what a kissing booth actually is, by the way), and they fall in love. Whoops. That’s basically the movie. Enter: The Kissing Booth 2.

Before you watch The Kissing Booth 2, here’s everything you need to know:

• So The Kissing Booth was actually a Wattpad story before it was a novel, and before it was a hit Netflix original. Author Beth Reekles was only 15 years old when she wrote it; she’s a contemporary version of S.E. Hinton, who also wrote The Outsiders at 15.

• Stars Jacob Elordi and Joey King actually dated on-set of the first Kissing Booth. They must have been method acting, because they broke up. 

• Also, between TKB1 and TKB2, Joey King starred in The Act and had to shave her head. Elle should’ve just been bald? But I guess that’s gauche, because she’s wearing a horrible wig now. 

• The Kissing Booth 3 has already been announced, which… we have high hopes for, although TKB2 was kind of a let-down.

In addition to its absolutely bananas 2 hours and 12 minutes run-time (Christopher Nolan is quaking), TKB2 offers about seven (?) different plotlines, and we’ve done our best to summarize them.

It’s senior year, and after spending a summer gallivanting at the Flynn’s beach house (normal), Elle and Lee get ready for their first day of school while Noah settles in at Harvard, that’s right, Harvard, University. Elle worries about distance affecting her and Noah’s relationship and sends him a cryptic “Take care” text, while simultaneously being a huge third wheel to Lee and his girlfriend Rachel. Enter: Marco, a Jacob Elordi twin, and self-described “snacc” who by pure coincidence, happens to be incredible at Elle’s favorite game, Dance Dance Revolution. Meanwhile, Noah is getting very close with his gorgeous supermodel Harvard best friend, Chloe, Lee and Elle are STILL trying to do a Kissing Booth, Elle worries about applying to a different college than Lee (which is yet, ANOTHER friendship rule), and a gay subplot is thrown in for some indiscernible reason.

Is it a lot? Yes. But just for your enjoyment, we have offered up our own very exclusive, gorgeous hot takes below.

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Annabelle’s Take: An Ode to the Manic The Kissing Booth Opening Monologues

For a period of a few months, between October 2019 and March 2020, whenever I was asked if I wanted to watch The Kissing Booth (2018) by any of my friends, I refused. “It’s too stimulating,” I said. They never understood, because how could this make sense to them? How can this horrible, one-star movie be too stimulating for me, Girl with a Minor in Film, to watch? The answer lies in the very essence of what makes The Kissing Booth the film it is: the opening monologue. 

While most films would choose to gently ease you into the story, or give you just a little taste of exposition, Kissing Booth decides to just sucker punch you with the facts within the literal first 2 minutes of the film. The most insane part is that in this outline of her backstory, there is no pause between the more serious, life-altering trauma, and the mundane everyday. Elle seems to coast through her entire existence with a sense of manic detachment from reality. In a single breath, she outlines these extremely formative life events in the first Kissing Booth: 

• Watched Noah win his first fight!

• Went as a pirate for Halloween, Lee went as some weird bird!

• Found out that my mom was sick… :’( …

• Got into a fight with Lee over who’s the better dancer! 

This continues on for the rest of the montage. In the same breath, Elle talks about losing her mother as a teen and the impact it had on her family as she does about eating ice cream on the Santa Monica Pier. It’s borderline psychotic, it’s pure lunacy, and I’m obsessed with it. She goes on: 

• Discovered I wasn’t going to be a fashion icon…. Discovered I AM good at sports! 

• Got my first period… Finally!

• Said goodbye to Mom...

• Watched Noah ride his motorcycle for the first time!

The whiplash here is absolutely unprecedented, and what makes The Kissing Booth a true relic of the age of streaming cinema. From the get-go, the writers tell you exactly what this story is going to be about, and exactly what to expect from it. They set the bar of your expectations for this movie and fly consistently parallel to it for the duration of the film. The Kissing Booth 2 is no exception to this. In her iconic bubbly voiceover, Elle says once again, “Let me get you up to speed:”

• Spent the summer with Noah on the beach! 

• Watched a gorgeous sunset!

• Watched Noah sleep…

• Started working on my college essay!

this is the essay she applied with to HARVARD? girl…

Though nothing can top the original, The Kissing Booth 2 still manages to hold in that same, (Kenya Barris voice) “What is even happening right now?” charm as in the first movie. Elle manages to say the most out of pocket shit, and when she is confronted for it, feigns embarrassment and somehow, it always seems to work out for her (see: Elle’s accidental intercom lust over Marco, who for some inexplicable reason, is not bothered at all, and even approaches her to flirt). 

It begs the question: what kind of warped and twisted reality is Evans living in? In what world can a family be unable to afford an out-of-state college, but can afford a gorgeous house in Los Angeles, along with years upon years of LA private school tuition? How did Evans manage to find a rival love interest who is just another version of Jacob Elordi, just swapping out the motorcycle for a guitar? Whatever it is, I’ll have what she’s having, please. 

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Fletcher’s Take: The Kissing Booth Series Should Be Directed by Ryan Murphy

Those who know me know how much I’m obsessed with Fox’s groundbreaking musical television show Glee. For anyone unfamiliar (if you don’t know about Glee, you must be living in a complete cultural vacuum, but) imagine an ensemble cast of around 20 high schoolers sleeping with each other, starting shit, and just singing. The showrunner, gay television icon Ryan Murphy, apparently “hates the word camp.” But it’s hard to classify the show without calling it campy. Being a campy director who hates camp is, in and of itself, campy. Yet, I digress. This should be the vibe for the adaptation of Beth Reekles’ absurd Wattpad serial The Kissing Booth — especially the sequel, which is so boring it’s not even funny.

What if The Ryan Murphy adapted a Wattpad novel? Specifically, if he directed The Kissing Booth. It would probably be horrible, but it would be so horrible it would be worth watching. A little bit like Glee.

The Kissing Booth 2 takes itself way too seriously. The Kissing Booth one was silly. Goofy. Lighthearted. You could watch it with friends and laugh the whole way through. Now, we’ve got two hours of arguments and whining. There’s still some random absurdity (see every shot of someone’s Instagram profile…) but all in all, it’s boring. The first Kissing Booth is a bit more similar to Murphy’s lackadaisical high school fantasy, but the second is more like, “This is the real world now!” Let’s be clear here: there are no kissing booths in the real world.

why is he verifed? and his bio — what? Icecream Sundae? okay.

And yet at the same time, The Kissing Booth 2 somehow never takes itself seriously. There’s a borderline-intense plot in which Elle struggles to pay her college tuition — she has a two-minute convo with her father, then it’s back to la la land. She figures it out; how did she not see the solution earlier? She’ll pay her tuition to HARVARD by entering in a Dance Dance Revolution contest. That one-time $50,000 prize (which, what?) will cover four years of $80,000 tuition! This sounds like a Nathan For You bit on paper, a bonkers solution that doesn’t actually solve the problem. But no, she’s actually doing this. This isn’t a joke. I guess the whole DDR thing is quirky, but it’s not relayed with any sense of humor.

the plan? enter in a Dance Dance Revolution contest to win $50,000, which will cover one semester of Harvard tuition.

So let’s take a minute to imagine if Our Lord and Savior Ryan Murphy (don’t chastise me for calling him this) directed The Kissing Booth series. Not just the sequel, which was so much blander than the first, but also the first and the upcoming third installment. 

Before I continue, let me just reiterate: these would be explicitly bad movies. 

First of all, Elle Evans would be played by Emma Roberts. I would miss sweet Joey King, but Emma would be bitchier and more fashionable. Regina George, you’re dust. Lee, probably played by Ben Platt or Darren Criss, would be Elle’s annoying GBF. Jacob Elordi would still play Noah. There would be a singing number at The Kissing Booth, probably a bad cover of a Charli XCX song. Sarah Paulson would be Molly Ringwald’s stand-in; she’d come in for the third act to deliver an elusive monologue to Elle. “Now, Elle,” she’d say, wearing pearls and a sleeveless turtleneck, “friendship is like a kissing booth. It’s all charity, isn’t it?” The sequel would be a horror version of the first film, and the third film? It wouldn’t happen. Netflix wouldn’t pick it up.

But the series would be better, because this time, at least nothing would make sense. Suddenly, the loopy DDR competition would make sense! The world would be a better place if we made all rom-coms a little more absurd. This is especially true of The Kissing Booth 2. 

The Kissing Booth and The Kissing Booth 2 are both streaming on Netflix. Let us know your thoughts— email us, tweet us, DM us, we want to know. See you next week for more good AF rom-commentary!

-Annabelle and Fletcher