Meet Cute: Rafaela Sales Ross on 'My Big Fat Greek Wedding,' Domhnall Gleeson, and more
"Am I breaking any rules if I mention Toula Portokalos yet again?"
meet cute is a segment where we talk to folks about their favorite rom-coms, their hearty hot takes, and more. this week, we talked with entertainment writer RAFAELA SALES ROSS about her faves: including, but not limited to, My Big Fat Greek Wedding, more about The Broken Hearts Gallery, Domhnall Gleeson, and more…
Hi! I’m Rafaela Sales Ross. I’m a freelance film writer with work published on Little White Lies, Girls on Tops, Film Inquiry, JumpCut Online and several other outlets. I’m also a full-time Project Manager for an arts organisation and the owner of a shop selling knitted/crocheted goods (exhales!) I’m on Twitter and Letterboxd @rafiews and more of my writing can be found on www.rafiews.com. If you’re ever interested in handmade bits and bobs, I sell at www.cliffthecat.com
[Rom-coms] are a safe harbour, a comforting place I can go to when the world seems all a bit too much. A quick disclaimer before we jump in: my favourite film of all-time, my entire life’s obsession, tattooed on both my skin and my heart, is Harold and Maude. In order not to answer every single question with Harold and Maude and/or Harold and Maude-related trivia, I shall refrain myself from mentioning it altogether! (Also, its stance as a romantic comedy is fairly shaky despite me seeing it classified as one before.)
FAVORITE ROM-COM HITS
Most importantly: best meet-cute?
I am probably the biggest living fan of My Big Fat Greek Wedding, and I have to say it is not the most original nor the most dramatic meet-cute but Toula (Nia Vardalos) meeting Ian (Jon Corbett) for the first time is just so incredibly relatable, the way she is instantly smitten and proceeds to babble incoherently and drench him in hot coffee is out of this world charming and real.
Who’s the #1 rom-com character that you identify with?
Am I breaking any rules if I mention Toula Portokalos yet again? (Editor’s note: no.) I was not kidding when I said I am the biggest living fan of My Greek Fat Wedding and my obsession with Nia Vardalos is only made more fervent by how underestimated she is as an actress. I have many issues with the dynamic between Toula and her family, but the film is overall such a heartwarming tale of a woman finding her way to love - not only romantic love but self-acceptance. I relish how professionally driven she is and how she cares deeply for everyone around her. I like to think I’m a bit this way myself.
Relatedly, who’s the best rom-com journalist?
I’d say Josie Geller (Drew Barrymore) in Never Been Kissed, more because of how lovely Barrymore is than anything else. It’s funny because even being a writer myself, I often don’t relate to rom-com journalists. I have neverending issues with how they’re usually portrayed.
Who’s your fave rom-com director?
I do love the big ones such as Ephron and Reiner but I have to go with Marc Lawrence, who directed my favourite rom-com of all-time, Music and Lyrics (tied with My Big Fat Greek Wedding, which I don’t know if I mentioned?). He also directed the great Two Weeks Notice and wrote Miss Congeniality. Lawrence was out there delivering great Bullock and Grant content and I’m very here for it!
What’s the best rom-com speech?
I don’t know if it counts as a speech, but Gerry’s (Gerard Butler) final letter to Holly (Hilary Swank) in P.S. I Love You, and the scene where Daniel (Harry Connick Jr.) reads it out loud to her at an empty football stadium… Oh, lord. I’m tearing up already. Can we move on, please?
What’s the best needle drop in a rom-com?
I’d say the ending of The Notebook always stayed with me. It’s not a needle drop moment per se, but it’s a twist that - during my first watch many years ago - took my breath away.
Who’s the leader of the rom-com world — actor, director, writer, etc.?
Hugh Grant, Richard Curtis and Nora Ephron. Going with The Big Ones. I will also honourably mention a duo that never fails to entertain me, even when on dubious Netflix productions: Barrymore and Sandler.
Best rom-com outfit? Any idea on where to find it?
One of my favourite recent rom-coms, The Broken Hearts Gallery had a fantastic wardrobe department. I would gladly wear anything Lucy (Geraldine Viswanathan) wore, especially her many gorgeous midi-dresses.
STUDYING ROM-COM THEORY
Toughie, but important: to you, what makes a rom-com a rom-com?
I think rom-coms, especially the good ones, are unafraid of being cheesy, are fully committed to what is almost always unattainable and, even when pushing the boundaries of the believable, have us rooting for the main characters throughout.
You recently penned this lovely essay on the repeating outfits of The Broken Hearts Gallery. What are some other moments in rom-coms that feel so realistic, or resonate so well with your life?
First of all, thank you! I love how we are getting to see more female-directed rom-coms and, consequently, more faithful portraits of women in a genre that has so often put us in very tight boxes.
I will say About Time hit very close to home when it came to the dynamic between Tim (Domhnall Gleeson) and his dad (Bill Nighy). I have a very tight-knit relationship with my dad and am plagued by the thought of one day having to go through life without him. Just writing about it gives me pause, so watching Tim, at the happiest moment of his life, having to say goodbye to his dad left me in shambles for days on end.
You first caught my attention when you mentioned rom-coms that make you sob — though the point of a rom-com is to make viewers laugh, they often do the opposite! Why do you think that is?
This is a good question to follow my little About Time quip! I am very drawn to films that are guaranteed to tear me apart. I am slightly addicted to the cathartic release a good sob can provide and there are some rom-coms I often go to when I’m in need of a long cry. The main one for me is P.S. I Love You, a film guaranteed to have me in a fetal position around twelve minutes in. I believe rom-coms benefit from not having to be so serious and having the liberty to juggle humour and drama as they please. They also deal with universal themes, which makes them (not always, but often) fairly relatable and increases their chances of hitting a soft spot.
You’re also a frequent festival-goer (at least recently, which is amazing!). Have you seen a lot of rom-coms at film festivals? Do you think they play well in the festival circuit?
I love, love, LOVE festivals. I’ve started writing about film back in my home country of Brazil in 2013 after a particularly great Rio Film Festival. Festivals amplify my favourite experience in the world, which is cinema-going. When I was still a student I would negotiate with professors and skip a week’s worth of uni to be able to spend entire days in a cinema, sometimes fitting six or seven screenings in a day. The rush to get from one theatre to the other, the half-eaten snacks, the exhaustion mixed with elation… Ahhh, it’s the best. But, anyhoo, now in the crazy predicament we find ourselves in, I’ve had the opportunity to cover festivals I’d otherwise never managed to attend, which is a bonus to this whole big mess.
I will do a mea culpa and admit I don’t usually go for rom-coms at festivals, mostly because I try to catch the gems - mainly international ones - that may not find a distributor, and bigger rom-coms usually have distribution deals beforehand or are snatched fairly quick. Maybe now, after our wee chat, I’ll keep an eye open for them! :)
What’s the best genre to pair with a rom-com?
As I’ve said before, I’m fairly masochistic with my film choices, so I usually pair a rom-com with a film that is so sad, so ingrained with existential dread (think Lars Von Trier, Yorgos Lanthimos), that after coming out of it I need something a good old pick me up.
I’ve also been researching the portrait of suicide on film for almost a decade, the topic being the subject of my grad dissertation and my Masters thesis. Rom-coms have definitely helped me get through many heavy watches.
AND NOW, RAFAELA SALES ROSS’S VERY OWN ROM-COM
The Ballad of Unbroken Routines
“She planned everything. Life had other plans.”
Rafaela (Melissa Fumero) has never known a day without her crisp, pastel planner. Words ribboned between bullets and other symbols, planning always comes easy to Rafa — because it was an art. Expression. Beauty. A calligraphy shop owner by day and bullet journaling instructor by night, Rafa understands the power of words like none other. With the pandemic on the rise, though, she faces her biggest nightmare: everything’s online. She recruits the help of her neighbor and best human friend (second to her planner), Ulysses (Domhnall Gleeson*), a freshly-unemployed Apple employee, to assist in the creation of an online store. As the days blend into one, Rafa’s planning starts to stray from the usual. Nevertheless: with the help of Ulysses, sequestered in their little corner of the neighborhood, she’ll find there’s a schedule for everything.
*I’ve actually told my husband before we got serious that if Gleeson knocks on our door, I’m gone.