'Mamma Mia!' Power Rankings

We rank every lead from the fantastic musical franchise, featuring 'Mamma Mia!' expert and roommate Isabelle LaBianco.

There’s no reason why anyone in this world should hate either of the Mamma Mia! Films. People often cite its absurdity, that it’s too fabricated, or even that the ABBA music doesn’t really fit with the plot. Well, get over it! Life is too short to hate these explosions of dance, beauty, and happiness and anyone who does is an immediate red flag. But we’re not here to argue about the Mamma Mia excellence — we’re here to gossip about Donna, Sophie, and Sam. Specifically, concocting a power ranking of every main character in the series. 

We’ve brought a very special guest to help us craft this list, our Mamma Mia partner in crime: Isabelle LaBianco! Isabelle is a Mamma Mia expert, and will probably write the Mamma Mia encyclopedia later in life (although she’s too humble to say so). The three of us got together, socially distanced, and watched the Mamma Mia films. Good mems. Truly devoted to the rom-commentary. 

From least power to most power, here is every Mamma Mia lead ranked:

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16. Sam (Pierce Brosnan)

Someone get a Change-dot-org petition going: we need to digitally erase this man from the Mamma Mia franchise. What appeal does he have? Why is he played by Pierce Brosnan, who simply cannot sing? There’s so much to hate. I dread hearing Brosnan creak out “SOS” as if there was an encyclopedia lodged in his throat. No more Pierce, please. He can model for J. Crew instead. -Fletcher

15. Young Sam (Jeremy Irvine)

Though he’s not as bad as Pierce, young Sam is not much better. This man has every single abhorrent Ted Mosby quality, from being an architect to leaving a woman at the altar. He may be dreamy, but he led young Donna on and thinks he can waltz in at the last minute and everything will be okay? I’m going to have to pass on this one. Good fashion sense though- I would have loved to be “cold” and get offered his corduroy-collared canvas jacket. -Annabelle

14. Sophie (Amanda Seyfried)

Even though she’s pretty low on the list, I do love Amanda Seyfried. I’d say she’s the best singer of the bunch. But Sophie, as a character, is far too chaotic to hold any power in the Mamma Mia series. Getting married at 20 — huge red flag! In the second film, she names the hotel “Bella Donna” after her mother. Cute gesture, but that’s the Italian language and the hotel is in Greece. -Fletcher

13. Young Harry (Hugh Skinner)

For someone who has maybe 15 minutes of screentime, Young Harry has the most character development out of anyone in the two movies. His “Waterloo” performance was remarkable and he and Lily James are so adorable together you almost wish he joined Donna and the Dynamos. Also, Fleabag’s boyfriend in the first season… This man got to bask in the glory of two of the most beautiful Brits. -Isabelle

12. Sky (Dominic Cooper)

I have to throw a bone to Dominic, the “Lay All Your Love On Me” performance alone was enough to bring his points higher up in the game. Despite his obvious rich-kid energy (traveling to “find himself” in his 20s? Alright.) his desire to marry Sophie as soon as possible instead of trying to delay the DTR is wholesome! Sky is, at his core, a devoted husband and sweet himbo. -Annabelle

11. Young Rosie (Alexa Davies)

Probably knows the person who can sell you the best pot brownies on all of Oxford University’s campus. Arguably a Clash fan, but secretly loves the get-ups Donna makes her wear. Rosie is the type of friend who you’d call if you were to spend all night in the library because you know her endless stories will make writing that essay so much better. -Isabelle

10. Ruby (Cher)

Ruby is simply not a character because this is actually Cher playing herself. I don’t know why they even bothered giving her a name because, though I have never met her (yet), I am confident this is how Cher acts on the day to day. I still don’t know what “Fernando” was actually supposed to be about, but honestly, when it’s coming out of Cher’s mouth? I don’t need to know. It’ll be legendary either way. -Annabelle

9. Harry (Colin Firth)

Listen, I know that the whole “I’m spontaneous” thing is so truly overplayed in this movie franchise, but it simply does not matter to me because I could hear Colin Firth say that he’s a spontaneous person every day for the rest of my life and never get tired of it. It doesn’t even have to be true. I’d still love him for trying. -Annabelle

8. Fernando (Andy Garcia)

Before I talk about Andy Garcia’s portrayal of Fernando, I must first shout out our good friend Alina for doing some investigative work on the nature of Abba’s original tune “Fernando.” I still don’t really know what it means. I do understand its unapologetically literal meaning in Mamma Mia! Here We Go Again. Cher is in love with Fernando. Period. And who wouldn’t be? The mysterious older bellhop with a husky voice — yeah. -Fletcher

7. Bill (Stellan Skarsgård)

This is Sophie’s father. No doubt about it. There’s no reason for these films to even exist, because Bill is definitely Sophie’s father. He knows it, too. And yet, he allows for the antics to ensue, because he’s such a cool guy. I wish Stellan Skarsgård was my uncle — look at that boat, those boat shoes, this boat guy. There’s not much else to say. Bill just rocks. -Fletcher

6. Young Tanya (Jessica Keenan Wynn)

Perhaps the best wig in all of cinematic history. Did she know she played such a legend? -Isabelle

5. Rosie (Julie Walters)

Everyone needs a Rosie friend in their life. Someone who is a good cook, a shoulder to cry on, and can hold the alto line. Plus she knows what she wants without being dramatic or makes it all about her. She also has one of the best songs (“Take a Chance on Me”) and I have never met anyone who didn’t want her to end up with Bill. She’s just so grandma-like. Like, imagine her Christmas cookie recipe. -Isabelle

4. Donna (Meryl Streep)

Where to begin with queen Meryl? I will never say a bad word about this woman. Yes, I cried during the mother/daughter scenes, so what? SO WHAT! If I ever have a daughter it will be to relate more to “Slipping Through My Fingers” and “My Love, My Life” only. Donna is a 40-something manic pixie dream girl and she deserves the world! Shed that Catholic guilt girl! You invented the term “hot girl summer”! No further questions. -Annabelle

3. Young Bill (Josh Dylan)

Ignoring the fact that in 2020 Bill would absolutely be one of those “without me? ;)” texters, he is the undisputed king of the young boys. Those cuffed jeans with the white boat sneakers? His beautiful piercing blue eyes? The way he swoops in to save the day on his, lets not dance around it, extremely sexy boat? Bill is an absolute legend through and through and is arguably the genesis of why I love a good sailor. Easily top 5 most charming movie characters of all time. -Annabelle

2. Tanya (Christine Baranski)

An obvious second choice, Tonya is a clear star of the Mamma Mia franchise. Like the cool, single aunt who snuck you Pinot Noir and bought you a Bikram bag when you were seven for Christmas, Tanya is every “I-don’t-want-to-get-married-ever” girl’s icon. I’d argue that she plays the archetype better than Samantha Jones. Little boys who play with fire get their fingers burned. Period, Tanya, period. -Isabelle

1. Young Donna (Lily James)

Remember the first time you saw Mamma Mia! Here We Go Again?* I remember having the wind knocked out of me watching Lily James bob around, her wavy blonde hair a character of its own. I imagined a future with a VOD release, where I could skip around to all the Lily James scenes in the film. Zooming in on her boots. Adding screencaps to all my summer vision boards. Young Donna is the most powerful Mamma Mia character.

* Not even going to address those who haven’t seen the film.

Let us know your thoughts — email us, tweet us, DM us, we want to know. See you next week for more good AF rom-commentary!