'13 Going On 30' and the Best Things About Being Either Age
Oh to be eight years older... or younger.
Welcome to the 30th issue of The Only Girls Who Don’t Fall at your feet! Or 30th-ish, because maybe our math is wrong, maybe we didn’t count the extra issues, maybe we didn’t count any of the Meet Cutes, whatever! In our Google Drive folder, it is the 30th issue, which means we need to talk about one of the most important rom-coms ever: 13 Going On 30. Recently, Jennifer Garner and Matt Ruffalo posted a delightful reunion photo. Obsessed with the results!
As we’re both in our early twenties, it’s time for a halftime check-in. We’re around eight years away from being 13, and around eight from being 30 too. So: what do we miss about being 13? What are we looking forward to about being 30? Essentially, upon rewatch of 13 Going On 30, what are we missing, as 20-somethings? Razzles, of course.
Here are the micro-obsessions we extracted from this true gem of a film — everything we yearn to snatch from the 13-year-olds and the 30-year-olds.
THIRTY: A Job At a Magazine
Duh, I guess. I can’t really tell what Jenna’s job is here, though. Editor? Do they say it and I just missed it? I want to be an editor, brushing elbows with cooooool New Yorkers at coooooooool New York parties while I slosh around an appletini. More importantly, I would like to work at a magazine and produce amazing stories and gorgeous spreads! Maybe I also want a little coffee and croissant at a morning meeting. -Fletcher
I truly can’t tell what her job is here either, but my god, do I want to start a Thriller flashmob at a party as part of my JOB! I want people to come running up to me in the office and ask me that we “need an answer,” and I absolutely want to create creative concepts reminiscent of the past! Any magazine workers want to hire me? I want this job. -Annabelle
THIRTEEN: Walking Home from School
Though the whole ordeal has always embarrassed me a little bit, I’ve been a walk-to-and-from-school person since kindergarten. It’s in the opening of 13 Going On 30; Jenna and Matt scuttle home from school to prep for her party. Walking was a formative experience for me, so often listening to “Bulletproof” by La Roux or “One Thing” by One Direction. In elementary school, I did walk with my best friend (also named Matt; I was so smitten with him) to his house. We’d practice our string instruments and mess around with my Flip video camera, somewhat like Jenna and Matt. I want to do that again! -Fletcher
Fittingly, I used to listen to the song 13 by Big Star and think about all those days when I used to walk home from school, usually with people I am no longer friends with off to do silly things at the nearby playground or in someone’s basement. The opening line of that song, “Won’t you let me walk you home from school?” always make me swoon. I would love to be asked this! Unfortunately, the modern-day equivalent is probably, “Won’t you let me walk you home from Trader Joe’s?” Actually, on second thought, that might be sexier. -Annabelle
THIRTY: Heeled Sandals
Recently I have been feeling exhausted, tired, bored — states of being that go hand in hand with a pandemic, no? But I’ve been eyeing these ancient, resale-heeled sandals with Picasso-looking aquatic animals on the side. I keep thinking: will buying these shoes erase this muddy feeling in my brain? Yes! No, probably not. Imagine, however, a summer where all the girls wear slip dresses and heeled sandals, their boyfriend’s sport bad jeans (more on that later), we all dance, we all sip piña coladas. Thirty, flirty, vaccinated, etc. -Fletcher
THIRTEEN: Snack Tables at Parties
Two words: Taco Doritos. Okay, but also: Hint of Lime Tostitos. Very few will understand me when I mention Jewel Osco chocolate chip cookies, but those who do will get a kick of silky, doughy nostalgia. These select snacks apply themselves to a very specific childhood memory (mine), but every party snack spread is valid, well-loved, and missed. -Fletcher
For me, it’s the punch bowl. There’s nothing like pouring yourself a cup out of a punch bowl, and the giddy feeling that comes with not being entirely sure if it is spiked or not. I will also die on the Hint of Lime Tostitos hill. If I went to the grocery store with someone and they said “Let’s get the Hint of Lime Tostitos” I would simply have no choice but to fall in love then and there. -Annabelle
THIRTY: Night Gown Slip Dresses
To this day, as an early-twenty-something, I have no concept of what “normal” pajamas are. Growing up, my mom only ever wore long victorian nightgowns or button-up cotton matching sets, so I truly have no idea what one is “supposed” to wear to bed. I do know this though- the gorgeous slip dress that Jenna ends up accidentally wearing to work? I want to wear that every night. There is truly nothing more comfortable or sexy than a pajama slip dress! I want one in every color. That would be a huge step up from the men’s button-up and Calvin Kleins I currently wear- maybe once I step up my PJ game is only when I will be a true adult? -Annabelle
THIRTEEN: 7 Minutes in Heaven
I so dearly miss the thrill of these innocently erotic party games! Maybe I just miss parties in general, but something about hearing your name called, getting to go hide away with someone in your class, whatever you do only being between the both of you. And of course, then coming out of wherever you were hiding and getting to tell your friends “Ugh, that was so weird,” and not even knowing if you were lying or not? God I miss that. -Annabelle
THIRTY: A Boyfriend with Bad Jeans
Boyfriends with bad jeans… I could spew theories on this, but I will save them for when someone actually asks. I don’t mean to sound patronizing; I just think, historically, most men don’t really know what they’re doing with their jeans. And the ones that do know what they’re doing — can we trust them? When I’m 30, I hope I’m serious enough to have/have had a boyfriend with god-awful jeans, like Mark Ruffalo in this film. Something about the bagginess in the knees ...it feels like home to me. -Fletcher